Monday, October 10, 2011

Things I Never Needed to See on the Internet But Did Anyway...

1. A naked child (including a penis) on facebook.  Seriously??? Would you like me to share a naked photo of you on facebook? Oh no.. well why did you share your child's naked photo?

2. Mucus plug.  Seriously, why?

3.  Poop in a toilet bowl.  REALLY??? WHY DID YOU photograph that???

4. Someones vomit.  I guess I could have made this list a heck of a lot shorter by just writing RIDICULOUS BODILY FUNCTIONS one should keep in the bathroom!

5. Someones narsty hairy back.  It's bad enough in person, why scare us all on the Internet? I sure as heck won't be sharing my hairy neglected bikini line or my lovely stretch marks.  YOU'RE WELCOME.  I'd appreciate the same courtesy.

6. Used tampons.  WTF? (you probably wonder what I do on the Internet at this point, but I promise you I never had to google to find these things.. they appeared in my every day Internet usage!)

7. Hair in shower drains.  THIS one is almost worse than the vomit and mucus plug.  Hair on on someones head gives me the jeebies.. and makes me want to upchuck.. WTF.  The words are enough.  no visuals please.

8.  Cup of urine.  While, peed on pregnancy tests are not my style, I will say okay, sure share away.  BUT YOU DO NOT NEED TO SHARE THE CUP YOU PEED IN!!! Seriously, you can just tell me you're pregnant, I don't need to see the stick.

9. Children in U of M clothes.  Poor children.  Somebody buy them some scarlet and gray!

10. That horrid picture of that one terrorist in all his hairy chest glory.  EWWWWW.

What have you seen on the Internet that made you stop and go whaaaaat?

And if you recognize something on this list that you've done the Internet? I hope you are horrified and a little insulted.  Cuz seriously? EWWWWWWWWWWWW.

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