Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Pumping Sucks

In the beginning I loved pumping.  It was proof I was producing food for my darling. It was satisfying to see the containers fill up and know that I was doing a good thing.  It was also a time when I could catch up on texting or reading.

Slowly, over time it became a chore.  It was making me sit still when I wanted to be doing something else.  My daughter spent a month fighting bottles, so why the heck am I even pumping?

Then my daughter started chugging bottles.  Now I feel inadequate and that I'm not going to have enough milk for her regardless.

She also stopped requiring a nipple shield and effectively abused the crap out of my nipples in one week time.  I had to go back to a nipple shield on one side from the pain.  It makes me want to turn in the towel so bad, but then I think of how much she likes nursing.  How quick and easy it is, how CHEAP it is.  How I'm 4 months in and that is freaking amazing. I think of how much formula costs and smells and I pump.

I will keep pumping til I really truly cannot pump anymore because I am not a quitter and even if I want to quit, I cannot quit my baby girl.  So until these bad boys dry up, I'll be annoyed and frustrated.  For her, because she's worth it.  And mama ain't no quitter.

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