Ugh..

The following is going to be a dump/spew of words that I hope make sense.

I think mothers enjoy making other mothers feel like crap.  I also feel like mothers feel they need to defend their decisions when  other people make them feel like crap. It's quite stupid.

I'm all for breastfeeding  Dude, it's freaking cheap! I will support you and cheerlead you and say whatever I have to say to help you through it.  But if you decide to use formula? Who cares.  I will say I will not advocate for the formula until you've decided to do it yourself.  Why? There are far too many others who will push the formula and say, "It's soo much easier.  It's okay, I did it!"  With the first statement, that is a matter of opinion.  With the second statement, just because you did it, doesn't mean it is WHAT the other person wants.  And also, helping someone else make the choice to use formula because you did it, and need someone else to use it to feel less guilty? Not cool.

Now, in the above pretend scenario, you will have others who will judge you for going to the formula.  They will say things like, "Well, you have to do what's best for you and your family, "all the while, thinking, your poor kid.  But ya know what, it IS that persons decision to use formula, but when you make asinine statements like the one above, it just makes someone who already probably feels guilty or a failure WORSE.  I honestly think that line is one of the worst to be said.  Especially when followed by a smiley face.  (As per yesterday's twitter convo, I hate when people say a statement and follow it up with a smiley.  I may have said it makes me think the person is a smug bastard.)

Want to know another fun topic? Cloth diapers vs disposable.

Cuz ya know, if you use disposables you are clogging up the landfills, exposing your kids tush to chemicals, lazy etc.  Really?

How about you make your decisions and I make my decisions and Joe Schmoe makes his decisions and you just say GO YOU, your kid is alive, you rock! And I will say, GO YOU, your kid is alive, you rock! And Joe will do the same! And we can judge silently as opposed to using passive aggressive catch phrases? That way, people won't be afraid to help others and share their experiences.

Not everyone is confident in their decision making but they made that choice.  Support it or ignore it. The kid is fed and alive, that is always the goal. I get so angry for others when they are silenced because of the fear of other people criticizing their choices and they really need to be talking and asking for help as opposed to silently wondering what the eff they should do.

Happy Monday to me..

You know what is gross?

Baby snot.

Well, snot in general.  I hate seeing other being have snot hanging from the nose or flying out into a tissue.

What's worse? When your cute baby has snot flying oute and INTO HER mouth and you can't get it in time.

Gross.

Gag worthy.

At least it's not green.

Yet.

Mom Pet Peeves

When I became a mom, I did not give up myself, my wants, likes or life.  I adjusted.  It annoys me when some people (moms/dads) go on and on about how they can’t do so many things now that they have a kid.  Why not??

 I mean my baby runs the show with her own feeding/eating schedule but we do what we want around it.  We adjust.  Things might take longer, be tougher, a little annoying at times, but I am so not going to pull the martyr card about it.

 Statements debunked

“Zomg, I had to cut my hair when I had a baby and can’t possibly wear it long, the baby will play with it.” – You chose to cut your hair.  Yes, it is annoying when your child pulls/yanks/tries to eat your hair.  You can pull it up when you are holding/feeding them and still rock the long hair.  I do not feel sorry for your new short ugly hairdo that you hate.

“Enjoy your bathroom/long showers while you can, after you have a kid you never get alone time in there. “ In the short month I’ve had an outside baby (in which I became an amazing know-it-all super mom) I think I have had a hot relatively long shower practically every day.  She has only been in the bathroom with me maybe 3 times so far.  Nap time, night time, when people are visiting or when my husband is home is a good enough time to shower.  Priorities.

“Ugh..we haven’t been on a date in months.  I have no idea what is in the theater or been to a restaurant in forever.” – Get a babysitter.  “But our family lives out of town!” – Get a babysitter.  Craigslist, sittercity.com , local colleges, your daycare, other daycares, ask parents for recommendations.  You won’t lose any super mom points if you get a non-family babysitter before your kid is a year old.

“We haven’t spent a night way from our 3 year old. Ever.” – Um, and you are happy about that?? Your child will not be scarred for life if she spends a night or two apart from you before she heads to kindergarten.  You will all be happier if you do spend time apart.

"MY kid ONLY gets breast milk. - While that is great, formula wouldn't kill them.  And way to make other moms feel bad about it.

"Oh, your kid doesn't sleep in their crib? I see you gave in.  He was in HIS crib from day 1." - I don't really think letting your kid bedshare / co-sleep with you is giving in.  Especially, when the kid is an infant.  I think it is called maximizing your sleep.  But, what do I know? I guess you could just let your newborn cry it out and scream bloody murder in their crib while you peacefully sleep in your own bedroom.  That should work out well.

ANY comments that come after Just Wait.. – You are seriously a douche if you start out conversations with this phrase.  I promise.

ANY comments that come after “Well you’ve only been a parent for.. and then JUST WAIT” will probably show up … - Still a douche.

People can and do have opinions and realistic concerns about things regardless of what level they are on the parenting/life pyramid.  But it would be nice if people would stop martyring themselves and trying to speak for all parents.  Some of us are rocking long hair, date nights, hot showers and getting plenty of sleep at night.  You can hate them too.

Looking for some suggestions..

Okay, so in about a year or so the DH and I are thinking about expanding our family. I really want to read some books that relate to this. Some non-fiction, some fiction. I've had many recommendations for Taking Control of your Fertility and plain on sucking it up and buying it on Amazon, since my local library does not have it. Besides that, any other suggestions that might be helpful? I am open for anything from chick-lit, to historical, to non-fiction, to medical to anything really. I just want to read more about parenting, pregnancy and famililes. So if you could throw out some suggestions, that would be great!

In the past I have read... Little Earthquakes by Jennifer Weiner, Harvesting the Heart by Jodi Picoult, My Not so Fairy-Tail Life by Julie Wright, and The Doctor's Wife by Elizabeth Brundage. Just a few that are some-what related to the topic...