On Chesil Beach by Ian McEwan

Florence and Edward are newlyweds who are vastly different people who have only known each other for around one year. Each of them has insecurities about consummating the marriage, but neither address the elephant in the room. McEwan switches back and forth between Florence and Edward and what each of them is thinking. The year is 1962, but even that knowledge didn’t stop me from wanting to shout JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER. They both obviously need to know how to communicate and what being a mature adult really consists of. It was a rather fast read and fascinating to see how their lives snowballed from the sheer fact that they did not speak up.

Other interesting things of note are Florence’s total disgust for sex. Which the writer infers has to do with her upbringing with a very rigid mother and a non-affectionate father. It also was very interesting how much Florence and Edward tried to be pleasant and agreeable instead of facing ‘adult’ decisions and conversations.

I actually finished this McEwan novel, so I suppose that’s a plus! Not a lot of dialogue and a whole lot of description. It was all right.

Books read in July

24. The 8th Confession – James Patterson (July 1st)
25. All we Ever Wanted was Everything – Janelle Brown (July 14th)

This month was baaaad. I got hardly any reading in while in Ohio and then left my book in Ohio. However, I am almost done with On Chesil Beach. Don't think I will make my yearly goal this year.

A mini rant

Am I the only one who hates idle pointless conversation? Yesterday while I was checking out at the grocery store the clerk struck up a conversation. She mentioned the book I bought was really good (Revolutionary Road for anyone who cares). I told her I had wanted to read the book before I watch the movie and we both agreed that books are usually better than movies. Than she asks if I am Dan ______ ‘s sister. I said, yes I am. She then tells me how she went to high school with him and I went to school with her sister. In my mind, I am thinking, wow freaking do. Were you friends with my brother? No. I was slight friends with her sister but we have not talked since high school. I guess this is where I come off as a bitch/ not nice person. But really, I don’t know what to say when people bring this random connection up to me. Like, oh how nice, or what is appropriate? I hate these types of conversations, which is generally why I avoid all people from high school when I see them out in public. We have nothing in common anymore. We do not speak. We rarely spoke in high school. No need to get all reminiscent over a past that wasn’t so cheery. I have no idea what to say to them. Surely I cannot be the only one who feels like this??

Then the other day my friend’s mother-in-law was driving me bonkers. She kept bringing up how much time she had spent in the hospital with people recently. Finally, I said, “You know, me too. My grandma passed away last week.” Hoping she would STOP talking about sick people. I am sorry, but I CANNOT handle that right now. I don’t want to hear about how your loved ones are doing fine, while my grandma WAS fine and then she died within 6 days of FALLING DOWN. One of my dad’s great-aunts did the same thing hours after I found out my grandma was going to die. I’m sorry; I don’t want to hear about your “tests.” If you are going to talk about your WELL-BEING please do somewhere away from people who are experiencing the OPPOSITE OF BEING FINE.

I know this kind of snowballed out of the main topic of, pointless conversation, but in I guess the theme could be awkward conversation. I detest awkward conversation. Silence would be preferable than awkward pointless drivel.

Am I the only heartless one or does someone else feel the same? I mean I am all about random conversations and talking to random strangers, but people you sorta kinda knew once upon a time, but not really? No thank you!

Wordless Wednesday..

Teaser Tuesday: On Chesil Beach

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading
Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

1. Grab your current read
2. Open to a random page
3. Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
4. Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

They were young, educated, and both virgins on this, their wedding night,
and they lived in a time when conversation about sexual difficulties was plainly
impossible. But it is never easy. pg.3, "On Chesil
Beach," by Ian McEwan

Some random knowledge about me..

My mind is not capable of focusing quite yet to read much or to type more about the situations that have come to be since last week. So for your stalking pleasure, here is more information about me!

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? on my knee there is a raised bump from where I cut it on a piece of shale while swimming in the lake in our backyard growing up.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? a poem written about my great-grandma after she had passed, some photos of my husband and his parents and a picture of my husband and I

3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP? i've started to clench my jaw

4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? pretty much everything

5. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK? yup.

6. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK? depends on the weather and time of day, but i do love my coffee and my monster's

7. FAVORITE QUOTE? Take chances, take a lot of them. Because honestly, no matter where you end up and with whom, it always ends up just the way it should be. Your mistakes make you who you are. You learn and grow with each choice you make. Everything is worth it. Say how you feel always. Be you, and be okay with it.” -Hollie Seals

8. FAVORITE PLACE? sandy beaches

9. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? it's terrible

10. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE? this is one of the biggest dilemmas of my eating life. i love homemade mac and cheese or velvetta shells and i could eat potatoes all day everyday

11. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT? dem

12. KISSES OR HUGS?hugs

13. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? about to start reading some of On Chesil Beach because I have misplaced Pride & Prejudice. it is either still in Ohio or in the hubby's car

The longest week

This last week has been one of the longest weeks of my life. My grandma fell two Wednesday's ago at Bob Evans after eating dinner there with my grandfather. He fell while trying to help her up. When she fell, she broke her wrist, which was evident immediately. She went to the hospital and they admitted her that night and she had surgery Thursday morning on her wrist. The whole time she kept saying her hip hurt her more than her wrist. They did an x-ray Thursday and said nothing looked broken. She could come home Friday if she could walk on her hip. Friday she could not stand on it and they took an MRI. It was broken. They told her they would have surgery on it over the weekend and that she might have to go to a nursing home for awhile to complete some rehab. She refused. Her neice called my dad and said that grandma was being uncooperative. He had my mom pack a bag and he headed down there that night. The next morning when he took my grandpa to the hospital to see her they had already taken her back to surgery. She had a partial hip replacement. She came out of surgery with a fever and sometime that afternoon they think she had a heart attack. My cousin came from across the state and took my grandpa home that night and my dad spent the night at the hospital. Her heart stopped twice and they performed CPR on her the first time breaking some ribs. The second time they used medicine to get it to start. At 6 am he called my mom and said that he didn't think my grandma was going to make it through the day. At 7:50 my mom called to tell me that. At 10:30 she asked if I would go with her. By noon we were on the road.



When we got there around 4pm, she had just started responding to touch and would nod to answer questions. She had not been able to do that earlier in the day. At this point we were informed that her kidneys were not functioning and grandma refused dialysis. She was on a respirator and had a breathing tube down her throat. My dad's sister spent the night at the hospital with her that night. Monday she seemed a lot more responsive and nodding and trying to talk to us through the breathing tube. We found out her liver enzymes were up and she continued to refuse dialysis. Honestly, she seemed to be doing better and they tried a feeding tube and medicine to get her kidney's working. No one spent the night because it kinda seemed like she was doing better and the respirator wasn't doing all of her breathing for her.



Tuesday we walked in and the nurses met with my grandpa, dad and aunt in my grandma's room. They said they had already discussed this with grandma but wanted them to hear it too. Since my grandma was refusing dialysis there really wasn't anything they could do for her. They were going to remove her from all machines and make her comfortable. They took her off the respirator around 11:30. Around noon, grandma was well aware of us in her room and we all went in and talked to her. I told her I loved her and kissed her shoulder. She was crying. That was the last time I talked to her. I went in and out of her room all afternoon. Sometimes it was harder than others to watch her. She struggled a lot in pain the early hours of the afternoon and then they upped the pain medication and she rested peacefully. At around 7:30 I went into her room and sat with her, my dad, my oldest cousin, my dad's sister and her husband. Around 9:30 my brother and husband arrived. Her breathing almost immediately started slowing way down. Around 10:30 we knew it would not be long. At 10:54 p.m. on July 21st I watched my dear sweet 83 year old grandma take her last breath.



There is a lot of regret, guilt, sadness and anger that I haven't yet processed. But I do know that I will miss her more than I ever expected possible.

quick update

My grandma is gravely ill, on a respirator out of state. I am headed there now for an indefinite time period. Just wanted to let you know. Keep her and my dad in your thoughts please.

Busy Friday's

It seems the last two weeks I put a full week's worth of activity into my Friday's. Yesterday included a 3 hour meeting where I spent the majority of the time wanting to bang my head on the table. I do not get how some people can be so incapable of following simple directions. Or how rude they can be to people while presenting. Sit still, shut up, ask questions when appropraite and we can get out of the place fast. But noooo. And THESE PEOPLE ARE EDUCATORS. I tend to find any meeting with people from my field tends to make me a bit irritated.

I also had a ton of errands to run. The older sis-and-bro in-law have been in town this last week and today we are having a baby shower for them. I had to pick up the stuff to make the scrumptious oreo dessert that I was making, pick up the last part of the baby gift that the younger sis-in-law and I were giving them, and then as a nice gesture stop and pick up the bro-in-law's prescription. Yeah, sounds easy, but that took 4 stops, 1 trip home, one fill up of the gas tank and about 2 hours. The bro-in-law forgot there are two Walgreen's in town or did not know since they haven't lived here in awhile. I went to both yesterday. :)

I hurried and made my dessert which I hope turned out okay because I wasn't paying attention and know I made a boo-boo making it, but I am hoping it turned out fine. Then I headed to the church to meet up with the sis-in-law's and the mother-in-law to exchange stuff and set some stuff up. But I did not help much cuz I got to hold a baaaby. Love. :)

Next up, hurry home for a pick up from cousin-in-law to go run erands and hit up a softball tourney. Had fun there with friends, hurried up north to the in-laws to hang out with the fam and got home after midnight. I am pooped.

Today is just as busy because it is the last day to hang out before they head back out West. Can't wait for my neice or nephew to show up in December!!

Booking through Thursday

Follow-up to last week’s question:
Do you keep all your unread books together, like books in a waiting room? Or are they scattered throughout your shelves, mingling like party-goers waiting for the host to come along?

My unread books are spread throughout the house. There are a bunch of older books from my grandma in the bookcase in the living room. There are random books collected from many resources in the other two book shelves in the office. There is one next to my bed, which has been there since last May. There is a large bag in the living room from my grandma and another large bag from the library in the living room. I have a lot of books to-read, yet always seem to go out looking for new books when I need one. Check out other answers here.